Gender Pronouns
The Basics
Q: What happens if I use the wrong pronouns?
A: Say, "Whoops, I'm sorry," and then carry on with whatever you were talking about.
Q: Why should I respect other folks' pronouns?
A: You cannot know someone else's pronouns just by looking at them. Asking and using someone's pronouns correctly is a very basic way of showing you respect their gender identity.
Q: What is a pronoun anyway?
A: Any of a small set of words in a language that are used as substitutes for nouns (people, places, things, or ideas) where the meaning is understood in context
Useful Terminology
- Cisgender (or cis): a term used to describe folks whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth
- As a prefix in the Sciences, cis simply means "on the near side of" or "the same side"
- Transgender (or trans): an umbrella term used to describe folks whose gender identity dose not match the sex they were assigned at birth
- As a prefix in the Sciences, trans simply means "across" or "on the other side of"
- Avoidusing transgedered. By adding the ed to the end of transgender, you change a noun into a verb, implying something has been done to a trans person to make them transgender. Transgender is not a verb; transgender is a noun and an identity.
- Non-Binary: a catchall term for folks who do not exclusively identify with either male or female
Gender Pronoun Guide
Subject Pronouns | Object Pronouns | Possessive Adjectives | Possessive Pronouns | Reflexive Pronouns |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| (f)ae | (f)aer | (f)aer | (f)aers | (f)faerself |
| e/ey | em | eir | eirs | eirself |
| he | him | his | his | himself |
| per | per | pers | pers | perself |
| she | her | her | hers | herself |
| they | them | their | theirs | themself |
| ve | ver | vis | vis | verself |
| xe | xem | xyr | xyrs | xemself |
| ze/zie | hir | hir | hirs | hirself |
Please note that (f)aer and its forms can be used with or without the (F). For example, ae | aer | aers or fae | faer | faers.
Collective Nouns: Gendered vs. Non-Gendered
Collective nouns are words used to describes groups of people. Often collective nouns are gendered, but they don't have to be. Below are some examples of gendered and non-gendered collective nouns.
- Gendered: You Guys, Ladies and Gentlemen, Men and Women, Guys and Gals, Dudes and Dudettes
- Non-Gendered: Folks, Guests, Y'all (or You All), Everyone, Friends, Team, Squad, Fam
Source: A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns by Archie Bongiovanni and Tristan Jimerson (2018)