Untitled Document

You come home
i know where you've been
i've sat here all alone
just awaiting this
i start to cry
as you push me around
you swear at me
what did i do to you

I smell you
and i want to spit
i want to fight back
but i can't
you're stronger
much stronger
especially when you're like this
in a violent rage
you throw me in a wall
i start running away
but fall to my knees and crawl

The bruises and the blood
ache and pain
tears tripping down my face
turn red
the words goin through my head
are worse then the blows
i've taken to the chest
come on give me your best

More and more harsh things you say
break me
please take me, O God
i beg just to die
as he laughs and laughs
i lay there and cry
unable to move
kicked around like a piece of junk
I can't let it get to me
you're nothin but a drunk

Nobody understands the fight
your going through but you
It takes strength and power
to overcome the hate
that you feel for yourself
your all alone
no one else can stop it
no one else can take in depth
what this does to you
they miss the signs
and the guidelines where they write
to put you out of your mind
they just add
can't help or conquer
a demon within
just feeding the sin
the burn and ache
fake feelings of happiness
soon covered by cruel fate
God, everyone's a fool
they can't see inside
and like you would let them in
a world falling apart
crumbling down
past rock bottom
through the wrong door
screaming and pleading
but no one else hears
no one else understands
the fight your going through
but you
just when you thought you could
beg for help
you realize your voice has been
taken away by guilt
and the shame
can't speak to curse
your foolishness

Shots ring out
I hear people scream
red splatters on the window
I wish I was in a dream
I feel a sharp pain
deep in my chest
people stare at me
shouting and yelling words

I try to move but i cannot
I find myself on the ground
light flickers
starting to see darkness
the pain grows more intense

I look around
thoughts run threw my head
more are on the ground
what's happening
why can't I see

Things grow blurry
trying to think clearly
suddenly I see
the man who did all this runs by
he turns around quickly
I get a glance at ... her eyes

It's a woman
she looks desperate
I wonder what she's thinking
why would she do this

How could you get that low
to take another life
people rush over to me
I argued and fought
for awhile ...
it appears I've been shot

Amazing I'm still alive
they to me to hang on
I say don't worry I'll survive
I've got a lot to live for
too much to be thankful for

And I'd never want to switch places
with that piece of shit
O God, please never
make me that desperate

They shake me
trying to wake me
too late
they break me
into pieces
I'm gone
but not for long
I'm told it's hopeless
but they don't know
what I can hear
I wish this was a dream
one from which
I could wake up and scream
what's happening to me
why doesn't anyone care
where's all the love gone
the memories we shared
the pictures fade
as I lie here
unable to see
wishing to be awake
to be set free
from this curse of a life
I'm stuck here
unable to move
come on now
I have nothing lose
they stop coming
stop talking
please don't give up on me
I need you here
but all they do is leave
no one can hear me
no one feels the intense pain
of a heart broken
by a few words spoken
I feel so alone
wait I am
stuck here in the coma

As i sit here and write this, i wonder where you have gone. You were just here. "Benjamin! Go get my tea!" Across the room the butler loks down and then back up and says, " ...but miss?" And then leaves the room. The door slams shut. I turn around to see you, but your still not here. what was that noise? I thought someone had come in. Oh well, silly me.

My beautiful red dress is laying over there on my bed. The way it sparkles, oh i just know you will love it. I have an appointment in twenty minutes. I can't wait to get my hair done. The color has just gone gray. I don't understand it. My long flowing brown lockes were wonderful, and how you loved them so. The way they flew threw the wind and moved across my skin. And well my skin, it just isn't the same today. I suppose i will have to go to the spa with mother tomorrow. You know how she loves the touch of another man, and when we walk out of there or skin just glows.

Daddy left early yesterday morning for another business trip. As i watched his plane take off i saw that amazing tower. It seems just like yesterday when it was finished. "Benjamin, what is this? I don't drink tea?" "But miss, you asked for another."

Two men dress in white slide into the room. It is funny because they act like it is some kind of secret mission. "Well, this is an odd escort service. Gentlemen I'm going to be late for my appointment, so let's get a move on. "They take the old woman out of the house. A white van is parked there. One of the men in white takes a last look into the room. "I'm sorry we had to do it this way mother." He begins to close the door and see six cups of untouched tea. Benjamin follows his gaze. "Today ... was a better day for her, yesterday it was seven." The faded red dress sits next to the tea, also untouched.

I'm so lost
I'm scared of where I'm going
I'm afraid of you
you terrify me
why must you be this way
what did I do
I want to go away
you haven't won
by my leaving
it's a way to survive
it's me achieving
to stay alive
it will keep me safe
and unafraid
of what you might do
in the top of your rage
I need to get out of here
and break through this cage
this wall you've built up
to keep me from seeing
all that is great
you think your perfect
but just you wait
that's nonsense
and I can see through it
all of your lies
that you keep telling me
and above all the cries
I can hear myself
so why can't you
I can't expect you to understand
that'd be asking
far too much
I won't get my hopes up
just to get crushed
don't look away
I'm the one that's strong
don't walk astray
your the one that's wrong
I'm not foolish
I'm not to blame
so don't tell me I'm worthless
if you think so
your saddly mistaken
I may be
the best gift you've ever gotten
so don't laugh
or roll your eyes
don't think anything less
cause what you see
is what you get