Juano's Rant

The tamale was so dried out I could hardly cut or swallow a bite. It was like hard sawdust. The relleno was something frozen that was then over-microwaved. The chile was virtually mush, and the egg batter was really weird--like dried up, rubbery tofu.

So I complained. The waitresss apologized. Asked to take my plate. That's it. So I said, "Um, could we at least get a free drink, seeing how I had maybe three bites of dinner?" (The rice accompaniment was more-or-less palatable.) We were taking a friend to dinner and so I didn't go balistic. She went and consulted with Juano (I guess it's quite a complicated procedure to give someone a free drink when the food they're paying for is inedible).

Then there was a screw up with our check. The waitress came over THREE times to re-do, and never clearly explained what was going on. Then Juan himself came over, and got involved in the payment issue which we still couldn't figure out. He and the waitress just kept muttering back and forth to each other. It was surreal. No apology. I told Juan that my food had been inedible, and he said nothing.

We took our friend, who is new to Fargo, to what I described as the best Meixcan food in town, and was fairly embarrassed to treat him to one of the worst dining experiences I’ve ever had. I can't imagine stepping foot in the place again-- which really bums me out, seeing as it IS probably one of the better Mexican places in town. (Course, that's not saying much. Mexican restaurants with "gravy" on the menu?? Rellenos are meant to be served OUT OF THE SKILLET. You don't freeze them and you sure as hell don't nuke them. There's a reason you don't find them in the frozen food section of your local market.)

What is wrong with local businesses anymore? If I had a restaurant, I would have hussled the customer a whole new plate of food and NO CHARGE. Awhile back I ordered a relleno at another place and the chef clearly didn't even know what one was. It was sort of over-cooked scrambled eggs piled onto a tiny chile and the whole thing drowned in a bucket of oil-oozing cheese.

And while I'm at it: someone should tell the actually very nice folks at Green Market that the roast of a coffee does not determine how much caffeine is in it. Dark roast does not equal "strong." And if you're going to pickle veggies, use baby veggies. Don't take an old, gigantic, hoary beat or brussle sprout and cut it into chunks and pickle it. It'll be tough and off-tasting.

Had to finally vent. If you read this, whoever you are, I thank you.