Fiction:
Some #1 Things to Look Out For

Before handing in workshop material, ask yourself at least a few of these questions:

1. Does the story rely entirely on plot? Are other story elements—character, setting, perspective, language, image—ignored?
   
   
2. Does the plot in turn rely entirely on an "O'Henry twist" or trick ending? This is fun maybe once or twice, but it gets old really fast. You shouldn't be doing it at this level. The outcome is a foregone conclusion for the writer and so no discoveries have been made. One of the central pleasures in writing—for the writer—has been missed.
   
   
3. A related problem is the plot based heavily on a clever, "ooh-aah" or "oh wow" premise. Such a premise or basic concept is fine if the story is otherwise fully developed, but too often the premise becomes the only point, a gimmick of interest for about 3 seconds. Try founding your story on some interesting and unresolved, possibly unresolvable problem of character rather than plot. The premise may seem less snappy or clever at first, but ultimately the story will be richer and take the reader (and you, the writer) into more interesting territory.

4. Is the plot "front-heavy"? That is, does it have page after page of initial scene-setting and exposition, followed by screaming slide to a conclusion?

5. Is there a suicide ending? Come on.
   
6. Are there plenty of specific, concrete, sensory DETAILS so that the reader can really see and feel the setting and characters? Or is most of the language generale and abstract?

6. Are the characters in the story distinctive? Can you tell one apart from the other, or are they all basically the same person?

7. Are the characters developed? Do you really know the central people in the story—their desires, physical quirks, beliefs, contradictions? Does the main character leave an impression? Do you know everything there is to know about the main character? (you shouldn't!).
   
   
8. Are scenes* in the story distinctive and delineated? If they all kind of run together, chances are there's a lot of inconsequential action which is diluting the best stuff so we can't see it or experience it vividly. Go through and mark where scenes in the story begin and end, and consider cleaner transitions from one scene to another.
   
   
9. Look at the scenes you've marked. Is each one sufficiently developed? Notice where some good scene opportunities are being brushed over. These are places where you probably SUMMARIZED or used EXPOSITION rather than developed the moment with sensory detail.
   
   
10. Are the scenes well-modulated? You want to alternate action, reflection, dialogue, and exposition—not action scene followed by action scene followed by action scene. If there's no modulation, the high points just run together with the low points and the story will feel monotonous.
    
    
11. Is the point of view modulated? You want "distant shots" as well as detailed "close-ups."
    
    
12. Is there real engagement with language? Or, oops, is the prose style pretty much a soggy paper towel?
    
    

Look out for dull, hackneyed language; cliché words and expressions:

· "sly smile"

· "evil smirk"

· "deep into his eyes"

· "heart leaped to his throat"

· "face etched with concern"

· "blacker than night"

· "bitter tears"

· majestic sunset," etc.

Try some interesting figurative language! Look at Lorrie Moore and Annie Proulx for evocative, surprising, moving, vivid, juicy metaphors and similes.

Watch out for monotonous sentence length and style; no rhythmic, modulated, or otherwise engaging sentences.

Listen for voice—does your narrator, whether she's wholly omniscient, limited omniscient, or first-person—have a distinctive way of talking?

* Scene = an unbroken stretch of time and action, usually in one place. Unlike a summary or exposition, which may overview a broad period of time, a scene generally covers a brief, detailed, circumscribed period. Scenes are almost like small stories in themselves.

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