Editing Exercise five: word clutter, clichés, jargon, etc. Expunge offenders from the copy below, along with word clutter and jargon. Also watch for the occasional grammar or spelling error, and a careless mistake made by a writer working in haste....
FISHBAKE, N.D.--Fishbake State College campus was a beehive of activity today after a popular credit union was robbed. The robber pulled a no-brainer, merely passing a threatening note to the teller. Police said the party escaped from the facility with a total of $179 and a used car buying guide.
Police officer Iva Badge stated that the robbery was an exact replica of similar recent crimes around town. In each case, the robber pretended to be a customer but, all of a sudden, threatened the clerk. Because in one case he completely destroyed a cigarette machine while fleeing from a restaurant, police have nicknamed the suspect "Cigarette Butt Barney."
The current robbery at the facility, located at 1210 College Drive, in Fishbake, was the same old same old for police. "The man produced a note and a paper sack, and ordered the clerk to 'fill 'er up,'" stated Badge, who is making an investigation of the incident. She said tellers are instructed to accomodate robbers, whether or not they show a weapon.
The man fled the facility on foot. An embarassed passer-by said he saw the man rush out, but neglected to call police. He said assumed the robber was only looking for the men's room behind the building.
By Russ Awl
Staff Writer
Redfield, S.D., High School wrestlers ended a busy week on the mats Saturday, placing third at the Central Invitational Tournament located in Aberdeen, S.D.
Winning teammates Mike Mat and Frank Fall captured first places in there weight classes, defeating Jerry Jab and Tony Tanner of Aberdeen.
"We did some really good wrestling last week," said Coach George Grunt. "We were exilarated by the wins, but disappointed that we did not bring home the first place trophy." After four first-place team finishes, this years win would have been a new record for the team.
Due to the fact that Mat had injured his knee last month, he was unable to wrestle at full strength, Grunt commented. At the present time five teem members are nursing injuries. Grunt adds that the general public doesn't realize how difficult a sport wrestling is. "You really need to be strong, yet small," he said. "Tough boys can hurt each other."
Asked if he thought the sport was too dangerous for many boys, Grunt said, "I do believe boys can wrestle safely. But they need careful training, and they need to be in shape."
Qualified experts on wrestling injuries have noted that referees should stop a dangerously unequal match, but that the wrestlers themselves usually want to continue to avoid being called week. Last year a total of seven high school meets were seriously impacted after matches were allowed to continue.
Still, says Grant, danger to the boys is statistically slim. Yet some critics believe it's worth keeping an eye on this long-smouldering controversy, and the next local opportunity will be at a match to be held at 6:30 p.m. in the evening next Friday, at the Redfield Sports Arena.
By FRANK RIGGS
Staff Writer
EAST SNOWSHOE, Minn.--The East Snowshoe School Board Monday tabled a decision whether to issue a call for bid specifications for a $1.5 million bonding request to be applied to required renovation of the city's elementary education facility.
There are a number of studies by qualified experts hired by the school board to study the structure which show deterioration of the roof and athletic facility, according to school board reports. "We also need to deal with possible asbestos contamination in the basement," said superintendent Irving C. Nern. He added that in the unlikely eventuality that educational facilitators need to traverse the stairway to the substructure for supplies, they may encounter various difficulties negotiating around possible hazardous materials.
"We could use sizzors to cut out the hazardous material ourselves," stated Nern, "but the state requires professional removal, and thats costly."
It is the school board's standard position that property taxes increase no more than 2 percent a year, but school board chair Mary Smith said she is ready to make a revision to that policy. Reviewing the report, she said, "I can see that we'll need to think about spending big money to make our students safe," she said. She made her comment after reviewing the report by experts hired to study the structure of the school for hazards needing correction.
What the school board plans to do next is examine options for cost and effectiveness. There are a number of building contractors in the city interested in submitting a bid for the remodeling. Several of their spokesmen spoke at the meeting, including speaker Jane Jones, CEO of Jones Construction Co., who said it would be efficacious to expidite the bidding process at the board's earliest convenience, so that a contractor could begin the process of planning the remodeling and refurbishment project. "We need time to order materials," she added.
There is one hurdle remaining before the board can take action, however: the voters. Polls have shown city residents are normally unwilling to pay more taxes for publically-funded building and remodeling projects. "We'll have to convince them that this is in their best interest in the long run," said Peterson.
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[Note to Eds with spell-checkers: Ewe ken knot bee shore yore spill chucker well ketch awl error.]
Thinking like an editor exercise five:
What is a fact?
The sentences below contains facts, interpretations and judgments. Based on the textbook reading, identify the nature of each statement from published news sources.
1. This year's city-wide walking festival will raise fitness awareness and offer a fun weekend activity for community residents.
(Select one.)
Fact.
Interpretation.
Judgment.
A combination of the above.
Why?
2. Last weekend's Comic Con Convention featured the greatest series of DC Comics characters ever to attend a local convention.
Fact.
Interpretation.
Judgment.
A combination of the above.
Why?
3. On the announcement that DC Comics was reinventing its 80-year-old cast stable of characters, however, the old-time fans freaked out.
Fact.
Interpretation.
Judgment.
A combination of the above.
Why?
4. The wellness center offers group exercise from 2-6 p.m., featuring Cardio Mix, Cardio Kickboxing and High Intensity Interval Training.
Fact.
Interpretation.
Judgment.
A combination of the above.
Why?
5. Your professors are getting rich on your tuition: according to new research, 350,000 educators in the United States are millionaires.
Fact.
Interpretation.
Judgment.
A combination of the avove.
Why?