1. The specific stressful problem we want to work on or solve is (example – our short tempers during harvest time, etc.).
2. The roadblocks and barriers to solving this problem are (example – not taking time to notice symptoms early and to think before yelling or arguing).
3. Some early warning symptoms of this stressful problem are (example – family arguments, Dad’s neckaches, Mom withdrawing, etc.).
4. Some stress relief methods that work well for us or we might want to try (example – neck rubs, talking about the pressures, etc.).
5. Some possible ways we could solve the problem identified in step #1 are:
- By controlling events (example – postponing daughter’s elective surgery until after the harvest season).
- By controlling our attitudes (example – the worst that would happen if we didn’t get this field’s hay baled by nightfall is that our hay would get wet – and we’ve managed worse problems).
- By controlling responses (example – instead of using our usual “you did X” statements to blame each other, we could use “I statements,” such as “I would like X,” to ask directly for what we want or need).
- By using available resources (example – asking a family member for a neck massage before falling asleep at night).
6. We are aware that we know ourselves better than anyone else. So, if we were to write the best prescription available to cure the problem identified in Step #1, we would plan (example – take 15 minutes daily to plan, talk and reconnect during harvest time).
7. The personal benefit we’ll get from using our plan is (example – we’ll eliminate the distress of being short-tempered with each other during harvest season).
8. The key tasks we’ll have to do for our plan to work include (example – we’ll need to remind one another to think before yelling, to ask for what we want directly instead of blaming, and schedule daily time for discussion).
9. A way we’ll make sure we get a reward for our new behavior is (example – when we reduce our number of arguments, we’ll express a verbal “Thank you” daily and take ourselves out for a nice meal once a week).